after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
