I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize