I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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