Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
