fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
