Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
