I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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