Me too!
id be glad to
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
