: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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