A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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