if only i could text you this smell
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize