i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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