Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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