Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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