then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
