I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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