So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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