when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
