can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
