i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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