No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize