Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Even my vagina gasped.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
