You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
