Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
