Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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