I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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