ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
