Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
