We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
