Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
