Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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