she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wear drunk well.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
