You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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