New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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