I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
