I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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