last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
