Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
