I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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