If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
