I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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