i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
