Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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