I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
