He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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