none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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