I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
