i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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