There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
