you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
