She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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