Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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