Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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