If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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