I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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