I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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