He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
