38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
