in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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