gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize