there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
