Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
