i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
