I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Text me some of your sweat
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
